The Truth About Sex and the Big "O"

The Truth About Sex and the Big "O"
by Brettani Shannon

In the world of sex, one topic seems to pop up quite frequently with women. "Why can't I reach an orgasm during intercourse?" Rumor has it that there are things you should and shouldn’t do to help you get there, but with all the mixed messages it can be very confusing. We've decided to get to the bottom of the issue once and for all. We took the most commonly asked questions and provided the answers to give you the final word on getting your big "O."

Are there certain positions that make it easier for women to get there?
Positions that facilitate clitoral stimulation during intercourse are very commonly the chosen positions for women. For this reason, the woman on top is probably the most common, but also because she is in control of the movement, pace, pressure, and position. There are many positions, however, that render friction on the clitoris or makes the area available for manual stimulation.

Does the size of a man’s penis determine whether or not he can make her orgasm?
Just as every man's size is different, what brings a woman to pleasure is also different. One reader said that of all the men she'd been with, the man with the smallest penis she'd ever encountered brought her to orgasm more easily than all the rest. In fact, she said that within the first five minutes, every time, she reached orgasm. To add to the one size doesn't fit all claim, many women swear it's the girth, not the length that does it for them. The moral of the story: each woman is different, as is what makes her orgasm. Take some time and experiment with different positions and finger play to see where you need your stimulation.

Does masturbating more often increase your ability to climax with your partner?
Jan Rossey, author of "How To Have An Orgasm During Sex or Masturbation, sheds light on this topic: “Self-pleasuring to orgasm - or masturbation - will make you more and more comfortable with orgasm and more and more comfortable with sexual experiences. The more orgasms you have, the more relaxed about sex you'll become, and you'll be able to share these experiences of sexual arousal and orgasm with a partner more easily.”

Can masturbating too much be the reason you cannot orgasm with your partner?
Masturbating to a fantasy, thinking of others, pornography, etc. can absolutely interfere with your ability to perform, let alone reach orgasm during sex with your partner because of the effects of it on one’s mind, not their bodies. However, the idea that masturbating too much causes desensitization or numbness of the clitoris, which in turn would prevent woman from achieving orgasm during sex is a myth. In fact, masturbation results in quite the opposite effect. It helps women explore their bodies and discover their own "sensitive" spots. Additionally, it provides greater self-esteem and confidence about their sex life, all of which will lead to a greater ability to reach orgasm.

Is it because you can’t get to your clitoris during intercourse?
Go Ask Alice, a health question and answer Internet resource produced at Columbia University, provides some clear insight, “In reality, the clitoris is perfectly placed. The challenge is for you and your partner to find and cultivate its potential. You might consider the clitoris to be 'inaccessible' because in-and-out intercourse does not touch your button of joy. Perhaps it is because the glans (the head of a clitoris) swells during high arousal and hides under the clitoral hood. Even though the glans — made up of 6,000 to 8,000 sensory nerve endings — is "in hiding," it is still a source of incredible pleasure for many women." The best way to compensate for this is to touch or press your "love button" directly or indirectly during intercourse. You can also use external stimuli in the form of adult toys to help achieve an orgasm.

Is stimulating your clitoris the only way a woman can orgasm?
Your main sex organ is actually your brain. What you're thinking about and what mood you're in can determine significantly the type of sexual experiences you have. If you have hang ups or stress about trying to achieve an orgasm through sexual intercourse alone, chances are you're going to run into trouble. However, if you just relax and enjoy the encounter and whatever it may bring, you increase your chances for things happening the way you desire naturally. Honestly, it comes down to how comfortable you are with sex and your partner and the level of excitement you're experiencing.

If I don’t climax during sex, does it mean I don’t have a g-spot?
Everyone has a g-spot. However, not everyone likes it to be touched. To some, the sensation of direct g-spot stimulation borders on irritating! While of course to others, it is amazing. There’s no harm in trying it out, but orgasms are not dependent on enjoying your g-spot.

If you are one of the many women who don’t orgasm during sex, can you still have a good sex life?
A good sex life will always be determined by the attitude each partner has towards their sexuality and the sexual relationship they cultivate between each other. If your partner is unwilling to help you achieve an orgasm outside of actual intercourse, yes, you may have a problem. But the problem isn't your ability to have a good sex life, it's your partner. Be honest with with your partner how your body works and have fun experimenting with different techniques to increase pleasure. One of the best "side effects" of not being able to orgasm through intercourse is that you get to enjoy sex merely for the sake of the pleasure it brings you. There's no focus on the end result. That can be very rewarding, possibly even more so than actually having an orgasm.

Is it normal to count on oral sex for my orgasms?
For some women, it is the only way they orgasm. For others, oral sex is something they would rather do with out. One of the greatest things about oral sex is that there is much room for experimentation. You and your partner both have free hands to utilize to the extent of your imagination. Simultaneous stimulation can make for some pretty powerful orgasms. If you aren’t sure how to introduce new ideas into your lovemaking, you can always leave this article up on your computer screen, leave a book with sexy ideas lying on his bedside table, or simply tell him. The majority of men get really turned on when a woman mentions trying something new or directs them in the bedroom, so don’t fear their reaction.

A man should always make sure his woman is satisfied before he’s done, right?
The truth is that many women hate the pressure of reaching orgasms. Many feel that if you do, great! If you don’t always, it’s ok. In fact, women complain that their men are so obsessed with getting them there, it takes away from the pleasure. That’s how women end up faking it, and we don’t want to go there. Your man should be man enough to handle the truth about women and orgasms. What does ring true about this statement is that a man should be willing to satisfy his woman before rolling over to sleep. Nothing infuriates a woman more than her guy forgetting about her needs and desires. He should always be aware of how she is feeling and what she is hoping to get from the encounter. It may be that she wanted a bit of closeness and intimate connection, but it might be that she is in dire need of a great orgasm. To be great lovers, the two of you must know and pay attention to each other’s signals.

5 Ways to Keep Your LDR Spicy Hot!

Phone Alerts
"Subtley leave a message like "I love you" on your partner's phone calendar. Set an alarm for when you know you won't be together and it will remind them that you are always thinking of them and loving them. My boyfriend loved this - I put "I miss you already" and set it for a couple of minutes after his train departed."

5 Ways to Keep Your LDR Spicy Hot!
by Jennifer Good

Let's face it - being in a long distance relationship sometimes just sucks. There's really no other way to put it. The lack of physical intimacy can put a real strain on long distance couples. Things that other couples may take for granted like just holding hands can feel like a dream waiting to come true. Due to this huge intimacy gap in an LDR, it's important to keep the sexiness alive and have both partners still feel wanted and desired. To help ease the pain, here are five ideas to help keep you feeling more sensually connected no matter how far away you may be from each other.

Excite your love with unlimited possiblities. HoochyMail lets you create a thrilling, explicit erotic fantasy about yourself and your special someone, doing all sorts of exciting and sexy things, in all sorts of exotic and interesting locales.

Truth or Dare
Let things get a little steamy with a fun game of truth or dare. The best way to play this game is with a webcam, but with a little creativity you could use a digital camera, a phone and/or email. To get you started, here are some same truth or dares you may want to use.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Who was the most influential person during your childhood?
If you could teach one "truism" to the world, what would it be?
What one memento would you rescue if your home caught fire?
What first impression do you hope others receive from you?
What social scenario do you fear most?
If you live to be 100, what things would you like to be able to say you've done or learned?

Make them sing a song off-key.
Have them recite the alphabet backwards.
Have them do a silly dance.
Have them remove an item of clothing for you.
Make them do a sultry dance.
Have them tell you something sexy.

Lingerie Show
Gather up your sexiest outfits and show off your sexy self with a fun lingerie show for your partner. This is easiest accomplished with a webcam, but you could also create a slideshow from pictures of you in lingerie as well. Go a step further with this idea and use their favorites to create a sexy calendar.

Sexy Text Messages
Keep them thinking of you all day (and night) with some steamy text messages. To get their heart pumpin' try one of these suggestions:
I can describe you with one word... delicious!
I dream of you here with me with nothing on but our imaginations.
I can almost feel you here... caressing me... touching me...
In the deep of the night I dream of your touch.
I am dying to feel your touch all over my body.
Did you dream of me touching you last night?
When you can count all the stars in the sky; that's when I'll stop wanting you.

Sexy Phone Calls
One of the best tools you have in your sensual arsenal is your voice. Make the best of it with a little sexy phone chatter. If you're not sure what to say, read an erotic poem or story or start by sharing some of your more sensual fantasies. For a full in-depth look on this topic read our article, Sexy Phone Calls.

Becoming Tantric

Becoming Tantric
How to use the practice of Tantric Sex in your everyday sex life.

Embarking on a new sexual experience can bring a level of intimacy and sensual satisfaction to a relationship that you never thought possible, especially when it involves learning the Hindu practice of Tantra. Tantra, a Sanskrit word meaning "woven together" is perhaps one of the oldest examples of sexual philosophy and spirituality to be taught and practiced today.

The practice of Tantric sex began in India over 1500 years ago as a method of Hindu yoga which worships the union of men and women. The teachings were specifically created to help practitioners increase their awareness of their own energy and the energy surrounding them in order to "feel more." The goal isn't necessarily about achieving an end result such as an orgasm, but rather increasing the stimulation of the entire sexual experience. The approach is to enhance your whole experience, not just one specific action or feeling.

The entire concept of Tantra is very different from the western viewpoint of sex. Tantric sex practitioners focus on prolonging their sensations and experiences, not on getting to the orgasm as quickly as possible. With the absence of an "end goal," the rush or sense of needing to finish in order to be fulfilled no longer exists. Additionally, foreplay is not a Tantric concept, because the entire purpose is to elicit pleasure for longer periods of time. Unlike your typical sexual experience, if you don't "finish," it isn't the end of the world. This approach gives couples a new freedom to explore their bodies and their awareness of themselves and each other in an entirely new way. It turns our western way of thinking, "I need to make sure I got mine," into, "How can I make this better and longer for both of us?" For many couples, this could be a very refreshing and exciting change in their way of thinking.

There are a few basic guidelines for engaging in a Tantric sex ritual. Most are common sense concepts and could be applied to any sensual encounter you and your partner wanted to try.

1. Bathe each other.
Don't just enjoy a romantic bubble bath together, actually take time to do actions that will relax your partner and show your praise of their body. The goal is to leave the world and your worries behind and focus only on the pleasure of yourself and partner.

2. Be nourished.
The purpose of Tantric sex is to prolong your sensual experience indefinitely. This means LONG lovemaking sessions where you're bound to work up an appetite. Make food play part of your experience and don't start any sessions hungry. Share in a glass of wine and feed each other often.

3. Create a space that feels beautiful and erotic.
Clean spaces allow you to focus your thoughts solely on your partner and your pleasure. Add mood setters to heighten your pleasure, such as scented candles, soft furry blankets or rugs, seductive music, etc.

4. Be comfortable in your attire.
Fabrics that feel great on your skin are a must. Starting off with soft, flowing lingerie or a silky robe heightens the experience as you shed layers later on. Also, consider any props whose texture may increase the pleasure you feel such as silk scarves, furry mittens and even feathers.

5. Begin your love play with a massage.
Grab your favorite scented oil and take turns indulging each other in an extensive erotic massage. Focus on relaxing your partner while keeping things sensual. Remember, the goal is to take your time and let the pleasure build.

There are many other Tantric principles not mentioned here, such as breathing and mental techniques to control and prolong your pleasure. If you are interested in learning more about this philosophy, visit the website for more information and ideas.

Dragoste si sex - femeia in zodia pesti

Dragoste si sex - femeia in zodia pesti

Esti prietenoasa, delicata, misterioasa, generoasa si, de multe ori, atrasa de ocultism. Nu putine reprezentate ale acestui semn zodiacal sunt cititoare in palma sau clarvazatoare. Potrivit, femeile nascute in zodia pesti sunt cele mai romantice dintre toate reprezentantele semnelor zodiacale.

Dragostea este cea care te pune in miscare, te umple de satisfactii si te face fericita. Atunci cand iubesti, esti in stare sa oferi totul, fara a cere ceva in schimb, dar cand esti ranita, devii foarte razbunatoare.

Foarte des ti se intampla sa te indragostesti de cei mai nepotriviti barbati, asta si pentru ca ii atragi foarte mult. Iti plac foarte mult cadourile, iar acestea te pot stimula, mai ales din punct de vedere sexual. Uneori esti dezinteresata de relatiile fizice si preferi mai mult o idealizare a partenerului. Exista si situatii in care poti deveni vulgara, renunti la prejudecati, fiind determinata sa obtii totul, bazandu-te pe frumusete si, nu in ultimul rand, prin sex.

Dispui de o personalitate foarte complexa, esti mereu pregatita sa experimentezi, mai ales daca te simti sigura de partenerul pe care l-ai ales sau esti manata de o vointa puternica, potrivit Astrologycom.

Esti foarte sensibila, inzestrata cu simt artistic si ai tendinta sa te fixezi pe aspectele intunecate ale vietii tale sexuale. Partenerul tau ar trebui sa stie ca intr-o relatie ai nevoie de protectie si o "structura ferma" pentru a te implica cu adevarat.

Vrei ca cel de langa tine sa iti realizeze toate dorintele, iar daca va indeplini aceasta "misiune", va afla ce iti doresti cu adevarat de la viata: sa locuiesti intr-o casa luxoasa, sa fii vizitata, din cand in cand, de amanti bogati, care sa te trateze corespunzator statutului tau.

Nu esti foarte vorbareata, iar cand o faci lasi loc misterului: nu spui niciodata totul foarte explicit, lasi loc de interpretari.

Iti place sa stii ca barbatul de langa are nevoie permanenta de tine. Adori filmele romantice si povestile cu Feti Frumosi, pentru ca sunt genul tau de barbati.

In cariera, esti foarte devotata muncii pe care o prestezi si duci mereu la bun sfarsit proiectele care iti sunt destinate.

Compatibilitatile amoroase si sexuale ale femeii in zodia pesti

Barbatul berbec

Se creeza o legatura mistica cand barbatul berbec si femeia pesti se intalnesc. Veti fi surprinsi de rapiditatea cu care va incepe povestea voastra de dragoste, pentru ca tu iti vei dori sa il seduci imediat. Apa si focul vor experimenta o viata sexuala plina de pasiune.

Atunci cand se produce acel "click" intre voi, nimic si nimeni nu va poate desparti. Nevoia de a exprima dragostea este simtita de amblele parti, iar partidele de sex vor fi pline de erotim. Amintirile atractiei dintre voi vor dainui in mintile voastre mult dupa ce relatia voastra va lua sfarsit... daca va lua sfarsit...

Totusi, barbatul berbec ar putea spune ca esti mult prea sensibila pentru gusturile lui. Tu ai putea spune ca o relatie cu un astfel de barbat nu este tocmai povestea de dragoste la care ai visat... Totusi, partidele de sex vor fi magnifice!

Barbatul taur

Banii vor juca un rol important in relatia voastra. Veti fi atrasi sexual unul de celalalt, iar el va iubi imaginea ta. O viata indestulata alaturi de tine este tot ce isi doreste acest barbat.

Mancarurile sofisticate si calatoriile exotice vor fi foarte importante pentru voi. Sexul foarte intens poate duce la o relatie pe termen lung. Fii mai inventiva in dormitor, iar el va trebui sa cheltuiasca mai multi bani.

Barbatul gemeni

Tu vei remarca la el dorinta de aventura. El va avea tendinta sa iti ignore trairile si nu te va lua in serios. Lui ii place sa dea cartile pe fata, tu vei cauta profunzimea si loialitatea pe care le consideri sufocante. Veti fi atrasi sexual unul de celalalt, dar nu se stie unde va duce aceasta chimie. O partida de sex ar putea incepe o relatie sau o poate termina si, oricum, sexul poate fi o sursa iritabila la un moment dat.

El va trebui sa invete sa aiba incredere in tine, iar tu va trebui sa fii mai toleranta cu el, pentru ca are nevoie de multa libertate. Iti vei exersa rabdarea dar, in cele din urma, vei obosi si vei cauta un partener care sa nu fie atat de interesat de popularitate. Mai bine renuntati, daca nu vreti ca unul dintre voi sa fie ranit.

Barbatul rac

Mai devreme sau mai tarziu, acest barbat tot va incerca o relatie cu o femeie pesti. Cat va dura aceasta relatie este alta poveste...

Sunteti foarte senzuali, sensibili, intuitivi si cu un accentuat simt artistic. Exista o atractie fizica nebuna si chiar posibilitatea unei relatii pe termen lung.

Tu adori dorinta lui de stabilitate. Dar, atentie, el trebuie sa se abtina sa mai citeasca ceea ce este in mintea ta pentru ca problemele vor aparea imediat intre voi! Ca relatia sa functioneze, oferiti-va unul altuia spatiul necesar si invatati sa nu va concentrati pe slabiciunile voastre.

Barbatul leu

Iata o legatura plina de senzualitate! El va fi impresionat de farmecul si modul tau de a seduce si de aceea te va dori inca din prima clipa.

In timp insa va ajunge la concluzia ca esti potrivita doar pentru o aventura de o noapte. Amandoi preferati mai mult sa primiti decat sa dati! El poate fi lipsit de compasiune la problemele tale. Mai bine rupeti relatia si va vedeti fiecare de drum.

Barbatul fecioara

Contrariile se atrag, iar voi sunteti dovada vie a acestei zicale. Inca de la prima intalnire exista atractie sexuala. Il vei vedea ca pe iubitul visurilor tale si vei face tot ce iti sta in putere sa il tii aproape. Sexul va fi un element puternic in relatia voastra, iar dragostea dintre voi ar putea duce la casatorie.

Exista si posibilitatea sa te sperii atunci cand relatia devine prea serioasa, iar el ar putea deveni usor paranoic. Uneori spune cuvinte nepotrivite in momente nepotrivite. Daca va doriti ca relatia sa functioneze, trebuie sa intelegeti cu adevarat sensul cuvantului "angajament" intr-o relatie pentru ca este crucial pentru amandoi.

Barbatul balanta

Aveti multe talente, sunteti sociabili si stiti sa apreciati viata indestulata. Se va simti in siguranta alaturi de tine si va dori o relatie lunga alaturi de tine. Partidele de sex vor fi pline de pasiune, iar dragostea va aparea imediat. Renuntati la secrete si veti trai o viata fericita impreuna!

Barbatul scorpion

Cand te va intalni, acest barbat va simti ca si-a gasit sufletul pereche. Intre voi exista o conexiune inexplicabila. Va fi dragoste la prima vedere, iar partidele de sex vor fi extraordinare! Amandoi sunteti inzestrati cu intuitie, sexualitate mistuitoare si mister. El ar domina relatia, dar asta nu te va deranja deloc.

Ce mai, va potriviti de minune, iar relatia va fi una de durata!

Barbatul sagetator

Este o atractie mistica intre voi. Tu vei iubi optimismul si exotismul lui, iar el va intui ceea ce iti doresti cu adevarat de la o relatie. In timp insa el va tine secrete fata de tine, iar tu nu vei tolera asta si te vei simti tradata. Deci, mare grija!

De cele mai multe ori, intalnirea cu un astfel de barbat se va centra pe chestiunile spirituale si creative, ceea ce va face ca relatia si mai captivanta.

Barbatul capricorn

Va fi cucerit de sex-appeal-ul tau, iar tu vei fi atrasa de modul sau subtil de a se face remarcat. Tu ii vei oferi suportul emotional si siguranta dupa care tanjesti...

Partidele de sex vor fi din ce in ce mai bune, iar pana la casatorie nu mai este decat in pas. Daca va incerca sa te minta sau sa te includa in jocuri lipsite de moralitate, il vei parasi. Ar fi pacat pentru ca va competati reciproc foarte bine... El este foarte ambitios, in timp ce tu esti mai degraba empatica. De la el vei invata cum, cu ajutorul sentimentelor, sa faci un lucru sa devina palpabil, iar acest barbat va invata de la tine cum sa descopere copilul din el.

Barbatul varsator

Ati putea fi prieteni pe viata, chiar daca atractia dintre voie este una cel putin ciudata. Tu vei fi innebunita dupa modul lui de a-si trai viata, te vei simti in singuranta alaturi de el, iar in dormitor... vor iesi scantei!

Tu ii vei respecta stilul de viata neortodox si iti vei dori o relatie amoroasa cu el, pentru ca atunci cand sunteti impreuna, puteti cuceri lumea.

El va trebui sa iti respecte creativitatea pentru a nu te pierde definitiv. Tu ar trebui sa renunti la incapatanare, altfel nu veti ajunge nicaieri. Nu poti fi controlata, nici manipulata de nimic si nimeni, iar el trebuie sa inteleaga asta!

Barbatul pesti

Atunci cand va intalniti, s-ar putea sa nu va mai treziti din starea de visare. Amandoi impartasiti o latura spirituala care va apropie foarte mult, simtiti ca v-ati gasit jumatatea si va dedicati in totalitate unul altuia. Perechea perfecta!
Daca vrei sa afli mai multe despre compatibilitatea cu iubitul tau, acceseaza

Un articol de Nicoleta Tarantus