What Makes A Great Partner?

What Makes A Great Partner?
edited by Dating Staff

In one of our weekly love poll we asked, "What makes a great boy/girlfriend?" We then compiled all the responses and created a list of our favorites!

1. Someone who knows what you need before you say it.
2. Someone who knows when to laugh and when to cry.
3. Someone who truly listens when you have something to say.
4. Someone that's there for you during the good and bad times.
5. Someone who is caring .
6. Someone who loves you with all their heart and soul.
7. Someone who is interested in reality and not as a fashion display.
8. Someone who is honest.
9. Someone you can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend but most of all, love as the great lover they are.
10. Someone who is open and responsive.
11. Someone who is never critical and ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
12. Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
13. Someone who understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
14. Someone who's there for you no matter what.
15. Someone who is trustful.
16. Someone who is a friend.
17. Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
18. Someone with a great sense of humor.
19. Someone who has things in common with you.
20. Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are and tries not to make you something else.
21. Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and love people for who the really are.
22. Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument and love you for everything that you are.
23. Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
24. Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff you love.
25. Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
26. Someone who realizes you're two separate people, and appreciates the differences.
27. Someone who can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.
28. Someone who understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.
29. Someone who can make you happy when your sad.
30. Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
31. Someone who will not hurt you intentionally.
32. Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
33. Someone that you can laugh with.
34. Someone who you can feel comfortable with and that you don't care what kind of weird stuff they see you do because you know they will still love you no matter what.
35. Someone who will love you in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
36. Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
37. Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, and a great lover!
38. Someone who allows you to be yourself around them.
39. Someone who will respect you.
40. Someone who cherishes your hopes and is kind to your dreams.
41. Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as though you are.
42. Someone who listens with their heart and is your source of inspiration.

Source: http://www.lovingyou.com/content/love/dating.php

Ready For A Relationship?

Ready For A Relationship

After any long-term relationship it may be tough to find the inner strength or desire to open your heart to love again. When a love interest comes knocking at your door, how do you know that old battle wounds and scars have been healed enough to let love in? Seeing as each person is completely individual, there really isn't a way to know exactly when the right time to begin a new relationship is. What may work for one person, may not work for another. Fortunately, there are a few key attributes that successful relationships have in common. If you find that you meet these, then it may be time to let love in. When you're ready to analyze your heart's state of affairs, take an honest look at the questions below to determine how ready you really are.

1 - How stable is your life?
How can you possibly hope to keep a relationship together if your life isn't put together properly? I think many of us use relationships as a way to help fix ourselves, when actually; we should be trying to do that before we find someone else. Isn't it true that a good many of our love interests result from someone who was there to give us a stable hand? How do you think your next relationship will benefit if you were already stable?

2 - Have you learned something about yourself from every past relationship?
On our path through life we encounter many different obstacles, people and experiences. This is what makes us unique. Everyone has a different life experience. The people who create happy lives take each experience and make it work for them, especially if it is a negative one. If you haven't learned something about the way you interact with another person from your past relationships, you're living in cycle that won't get broken until you take the time to find out. You can't possibly expect to break negative habits if you're not aware of them.

3 - Have you narrowed down your specific desires as to what type of person you want to meet?
Each relationship offers us an opportunity to review our master list of qualities of our ideal mate. Sometimes, what we thought we wanted didn't even come close to what we really needed. After a long-term relationship it is especially prudent to revise your list of desirable traits. Were there things about your past partner that hindered you from being really you? What traits would help you feel the most comfortable with being yourself?

4 - Are you really over your past?
I know, you're probably thinking it's a misprint? You may be thinking "Don't you mean past love?" Sometimes, I find we identify our past with our past loves. Our life may have included something that was special that we may be feeling is missing now. Somehow that gets wrapped up in our emotions with our past love. So, instead of trying to find new ways to make our life more complete, we think we need to have our past love to feel complete. Make sure you identify your real sources of desire before beginning a new relationship.

5 - Have you talked about your feelings with someone else?
It is often easier to deal with the real issues of the heart privately. However, this isn't always the best option. Talking about what's really going on in your mind and your heart gives you the opportunity to release any painful or negative emotions you didn't know you had bottled up. Trust me, there are almost always bottled up emotions you're unaware of. If you don't have anyone you feel you can trust to talk to, try talking to a group of people online. A great place to start would be our anonymous advice forums. Use them as a sounding board to get inspiration or just to get everything off your chest. Whoever you talk to, you'll be glad you did.

Source: http://www.lovingyou.com/content/love/dating.php

Are You Dateable?

Are You Dateable?
by Jennifer Good

So often when there is something we decide we want, we spend all of our focus and energy on the flow of getting it. Unfortunately, what we don't realize is that with an attentive eye focused on ourselves we will find the answer to our quest. If you've ever wondered why you may be finding it difficult to find your perfect match, it may be time to analyze what it is you are offering. The following questions are aimed at helping you discover your dateability.

Are you happy?
People pick up on unconscious thoughts. If you're not happy, it is pretty safe to say you are permeating the air with your negativity. Find out what would really make you happy, and do it! Positive people are people magnets. Find yourself and you may also find the other half you are looking for.

Do you say "my ex" more than 5 times a day?
What's done is done. If you want a potential partner to remain interested, don't give off signs that you're still emotionally committed. Allow yourself the freedom to be free. Sometimes it is easier to cling to the past than to face what is right in front of you. Don't let thoughts of an ex hold you back from enjoying your future.

Are you financially stable?
While this is not an end-all criterion, it does reflect how independent, stable or ambitious you are. If you're not in a comfortable financial place now, make a change. Do some research on getting out of debt, or ways to increase your monetary flow. You'll feel happier, and be a better catch, even if all you have is a plan of action that you are carrying out.

Do you have future goals, dreams or desires?
A dream is an aspiration for something greater than you have now. It could mean improving yourself, visiting a foreign land, or even owning a rare collector's piece. Whatever your dreams and goals are to you, it is important to have them, and have plans to achieve them. A person who is trying to achieve a goal or dream is showing that they are willing to grow as a person. It can also show your ability to make something happen for yourself and possibly for a potential partner.

What are you doing for you?
If you aren't engaged in any hobbies, self-improvement or other interests you may be giving signals that you will be overly dependent on a potential partner. Furthermore, having independent interests will help you keep your personal identity in a relationship, which at times can feel like a thing of the past.

Do you know what went wrong in your past relationship(s)?
The first step to overcoming a problem is to realize there is one. If you haven't already, take an objective look at your past relationships and find out how you contributed to their demise.

Do you know what you want in a new partner?
If you haven't taken the time to narrow this down, this could very likely be the reason you are without. When creating your list, be sure to include things you do not want as well. Mark off which things are red flags and which things you can live with. If you find an interest entering a red flag zone, do yourself a favor and look for someone else.

More questions to consider...
Do you feel you may be too insecure?
Are you focusing on the past more than you are focusing on the here and now or the future?
Do you feel you may be overly critical or negative towards other people or life?
Would you date you?

Source: http://www.lovingyou.com/content/love/dating.php

Who Is Your Ideal Partner?

Who Is Your Ideal Partner?
by Jennifer Good

Who Is Your Ideal Partner?In the dating world, it seems that everyone expects the love of their life to fall from a tree and knock them dizzy with bliss. The facts of the matter are hardly as hit-and-miss as our secret desires would like them to be. When someone has a spell of good luck, it’s rarely because of some undeserved, haphazard gift bestowed upon them. If you look back to the period prior to any favorable happenings, you’ll discover a lot of hard work and planning were most likely involved. There is truth in the belief that the effort you put into something will be equal to the result you receive. Where people usually go wrong with this formula is extending the wrong type of effort. The same is true for finding a life mate.

If you don’t discern what you want or expect from your life, you’re never going to get it. You wouldn’t expect a business person to start a new business without researching the field and discovering if it’s a suitable fit. Yet, people consistently dive into the dating pool without first making sure of what they want. The fact that someone shows a bit of interest does not mean they are a suitable match for you. In the end, it isn’t just strong affection or love that makes a relationship work. It’s how compatible you are and how you deal with the little day-to-day things that count. The only way to truly discover what you need from a relationship is to actually plan and research exactly what you want.

When you are ready to seriously begin your quest for finding your life mate, use the following steps to help you get started.

Step 1: Do Your Research No great plan or endeavor can really get off the ground without research. Applying this to your love life may seem strange, but it really only takes a new perspective to get things going. First, analyze your past relationships. What traits or qualities did you really like about your previous partners? Write them down. Then take a look at what aspects of their personalities or your relationship that you disliked. Write those down as well.

You’ll probably get a fairly clear idea of your ideal mate at this point. However, don’t just stop with looking into the past. You’ll get an even more complete picture if you take a look at the people around you who have influenced your overall concept of the ideal relationship. Your parents or other family members' relationships will affect your opinions greatly. Do the same comparison of likes and dislikes for them. If there are other friends or role models, be sure to analyze those as well.

Step 2: Understand Your Desires
Truly knowing yourself allows you to understand all of your strengths and weaknesses. Once you’re comfortable with what those are, you can find ways to make them work for you. For instance, if you’d rather eat dirt than clean, you know you’ll always need a housekeeper. You also have some more insight on what traits your perfect partner needs to have, in this case a high tolerance for sloppiness. For some of you, the weakness may be an insecurity issue. In this case, while eventually you may get over it, you probably don’t want to get involved with a social butterfly. You’re going to be a lot happier with someone who is a little more reserved in public. Some traits or qualities wouldn’t be considered deal breakers, while others are must haves. Each person is different, so these qualifiers will be unique to each individual. Your job is to figure out the must-have characteristics of your ideal partner.

First, define what you want and need. You did most of this in step one. Now it’s time to expand on your discoveries and get a complete picture of your ideal relationship. Make sure to include small snippets of things you’ve always envisioned doing. For instance, do you imagine someone who enjoys cuddling on the couch while watching scary movies with the snow falling outside? Whatever it is, make sure to write it down so you can refer back to it and make changes as necessary.

Next, you need to determine what certain terminology actually means to you. You won’t be able to express what you expect from a partner if you don’t even know what it is yourself. Take a while and really figure out what exactly does love mean to you. What is your idea of "romance"? What are your views regarding sex? What does marriage mean to you? What about commitment?

Now it’s time to look at what specific requirements you’d like your potential life partner to have. How important is education? What about their level of independence or financial stability? What stage in their career should they be at? What about religious beliefs? Is having a different romantic style a deal breaker?

By knowing ahead of time exactly what it is you're looking for, you'll be able to tell early in a relationship if the person you are with matches your criteria. This will allow you to end bad relationships before anything progresses too far. In addition, you’ll be able to move ahead with more confidence when you do find that particular someone who meets your expectations.

Step 3: Put Your Discoveries into Practice
So, you now know what you want, but how do you go about actually getting it? Since there are shelves of books dedicated to this pursuit, I’m just going to give you a few pointers to steer you in the right direction.

The first tip should be fairly obvious, but it’s amazing how often it’s over-looked. You’ve just dedicated all this time to figuring out what makes you tick, so it’s time to use it to your advantage. If you’re looking for someone to date, don’t go to a place you’re not likely to meet anyone with those qualifications. Try to find the best possible places where the odds of meeting someone with your particular interests are higher. If you love to cook, join some cooking classes. If you love to read, join a book club. If you love dancing, take some dance lessons. A little research into what your city offers could pay off quite nicely. When you talk with someone you are interested in, try bringing up the hobbies and interests you enjoy. Get a gauge early on as to whether you actually have things in common. This is also a great conversational segue to asking for an actual date.

When you go on your dates, do things that reflect how you want your marriage or long-term relationship to be. For instance, if you enjoy shopping, take your date on a few trips to the mall. If you love the outdoors, let your dates reflect that. Not only will you be finding out if you both enjoy the same things, you’ll also be giving your potential partner a better glimpse at who you really are. Even if things don’t work out romantically, if you discover you share common interests, you’ve at least gained a friendship.

Source: http://www.lovingyou.com/content/love/dating.php